one of the best song for junkies :)

Unholy Confession

Lorong waktu ini, akan segera berakhir, ketika mataku tertutup dan cahaya itu melesat jauh pergi meninggalkan segala kenangan indah dan pahit. Seperti labirin.

Ketika hari ini berakhir, dan nafas ini usai aku akan tertunduk lesu dengan hati membiru, teringat akan dosa-dosaku. Yang tak pernah kusesali. Hanya karena prinsip.

Dalam hitungan tahun, semua akan terjawab, ketika Ia memanggilku, dengan kasar, lugas dan tanpa pamrih. Terbayang perkataanya akan sedemikian keras, namun aku terima. Itulah namanya pil pahit.

Jujur kuakui, terkadang aku seperti melihat dimensi lain, dimensi yang tak bisa orang lain rasa. Dimensi keegoisan diri. Egosentrisme merasuk ke hatiku.

Ayah ku sedemikian keras, namun dalam hatinya, yang masih mampu kubaca, sangat menyayangiku. Cahaya matanya membuatku gelisah hingga detik ini, ketika aku membentak balik kepadanya. Aku akan menyesal nantinya, itu pasti.

Ibuku, selalu diam. Tak pernah marah tak pernah mengeluarkan rasa emosinya setitikpun terhadapku. Hanya ia, hatinya yang tak bisa kubaca. Aku kalah Ibu.

Adikkku yang begitu lucu, terkadang aku sedih kenapa dia ada ketika aku hancur lebur. Terkadang ia manusia yang paling mengerti akan diriku. Sesuatu terjadi padanya. Maka aku akan hilang, tersedot deras ke lubang hitam.

Leluhurku, siapa dia aku tidak tahu, tak ada seorang pun yang memberitahu. Aku penasaran, aku bimbang dan tanpa arah. Hingga aku mencoba sesuatu yang mungkin mereka tidak suka. Dan mulai mengutukiku. Maafkan aku.

Sahabat-sahabatku, namamu terhias di kulitku, kukenang dirimu dan kuberkati kalian agar kalian bahagia sampai akhir hayat, walau aku tak mampu membendung siksaan hidup yang mulai menjerat hati. Nafasku mulai pendek, kuakui hidup ini tak lama lagi.

Wanita yang pernah kusayangi dalam hidupku, im sorry.

invective freedom

god says live just a while

so i go live waiting death with breathe

no one care and no one dare 

so i stand up and do what i care

You smile like a king 

but no ever king lives like lion king

he fears of death and still getting beaten

with me and sorrow

you know what is life means

making coffee and lit some joints

feel peace and hatred at a times

but you still dont know my suffering

god says live just a while 

so i go live waiting death with breathe

no one care and no one dare

so i stand up and do what i care

if you die today

i wont smile i wont cry

i just promise you to take the rest

vanished the pain and get all the freedom

mama told i have something 

a bit different but would not getting big

because i choose a different way

like frank sinatra sing about his way

hey you there grow up man

dont underestimate people like me

you know i can kill you whenever i want

i'll be your nightmare if you dare to beg

Sjahrir And Socialism

Dated March 5, 2009 an even 100 years Sutan Sjahrir. "Little Man", so nicknamed Sjahrir, listed as a central figure in Indonesia's struggle for independence, especially in politics and diplomacy.

 
Known intelligent, Sjahrir at age 19 years took part in the Youth Oath October 28, 1928. At the age of 36 years Sjahrir elected Prime Minister I RI.

 
Skilled at the negotiation table, Sjahrir founded the Socialist People's Party, and renamed the Indonesian Socialist Party (PSI). In the 1955 elections, the PSI failed to reap significant votes. PSI was dissolved five years later President Sukarno.

 
In 1963, the Sutan Sjahrir gazetted as a political prisoner to death in Switzerland in the treatment period. Dissolution of the PSI and the validity period of authoritarian Masyumi mark. Until the end of the New Order regime, the discourse of ideology associated with a nation that manifested in the structure of political economy, cultural systems, and values should ideally practical standstill. 



Indonesian Socialism 

 
 
In discussing the ideal social and political orders, often comes the desire to find a middle way between capitalism and socialism. Sjahrir is one of the pioneering search for that road, as stated in the concept of Indonesian Socialism. The question is, is it possible there was a "middle way Indonesian version"? Is it possible to unite the two isms are like oil and water?

 
More concrete question is, Should Indonesian Socialism? Necessary. The reason, so that the positive aspects of socialism as a set of sharp social analysis in describing the order of justice can be combined with a democratic political order which became the requirements of the functioning of a market economy in the context of Indonesia.

 
In modern capitalist countries which apply advanced political democracy. However, is not the case with economic democracy. The achievement of political democracy has historically been very important, but it is less complete. He is merely a passive representative democracy, in which most people choose another person to act for them. Also remain concentrated economic power and economic democracy are still waiting for a better future.

 
Meanwhile, the experiment of socialism (communism exact), East Block has failed. The absence of political democracy resulted in a political crisis led to the collapse of the Soviet Union and Eastern Bloc. Absence of political democracy to economic communist countries at that time, packaged in the context of full employment and imposed centralized planning, resulting in stagnation and economic inefficiency and a lack of work discipline.

 
Dissatisfaction with the two isms that trigger an alternative search. In theory, allowing a variety of flow of socialism. -Democratic socialism is a form of socialism is to find land developed in some industrial countries like Germany and Sweden. In addition, we have heard various genres of socialism, as a non-Marxist socialism, socialism-movement-science, and socialism-utopian. 
 

Socialism Sjahrir


 
In the annals of Indonesia, there are four political parties that never bears the name "socialist" as the name and official ideology of the party, namely the Socialist Party headed by Amir Syarifuddin, Socialist People's Party (Paras) who founded and chaired Sutan Sjahrir. Then there was the Socialist Party which represents the fusion of the two parties. This is the party that controlled the Cabinet since November 1945 until mid-1947 RI, when a rift occurred between the group and Amir Sjarifuddin Sjahrir. Sjahrir then form a new party, the Indonesian Socialist Party (PSI), in early 1948, lasted until 1960, when Sukarno dissolved.

 
In the history of the independence movement, we know the leaders, including Sukarno and Hatta, who believes building a community and this country on socialist principles. However, among the characters, perhaps only the most assertive and Sjahrir real in faith and struggle. He not only founded a political party (PSI) to create belief, but previously have considered in depth understanding of what socialism is best suited for Indonesia.

 
Sjahrir firmly distinguish who want to understand socialism in Indonesia fought for socialism in the West European communism and socialism offered. Struggle over ideas of socialism in Western Europe and concern about totalitarian communism led to his thoughts on socialism are appropriate for Indonesia, namely-populist socialism.

 
For Sjahrir, word populist was an appreciation and affirmation that socialism as he understood forever uphold basic human equality.

 
The historical record is known, the ideals of democratic socialism-Sjahrir did not successfully realized. However, this failure may not be solely because Sjahrir shifted from politics or because the PSI was dissolved. Socialism, whatever it is, just understand, an ideal that is still in the conception rate. To realize these ideals, he must be made operational and must be supported by a set of institutions and specific mechanisms. It was not easy. Without it, she will stop at the moral or ethical appeal, but did not bring change anything.



Adopted from Ivan Hadar, Deputy Chief Editor of Journal Social Democratic
Source: www.kompas.com 

Info & Understanding Javanist Original Java (Syncretism Religion & Spirituality Combination)

Javanist is native Javanese culture is the syncretism of ancient beliefs with religious teachings that came later, such as Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam, and Christianity.Among the mixture of the most dominant is the teachings of Islam.

Discussing the problem is indeed the result Javanist terms Manunggaling Kawulo Gusti, Sedulur to four Five pancer Sangkan Paraning Dumadi, ngeruwat, initiation, and others.

Drs Susilo conclude about Javanist are as follows:

* Javanist is the mixing of religious syncretism of Hindu-Buddhist-Islamic. Nevertheless Javanist teachings still relate and sticking to the original teachings of Javanese tradition that still seems peculiar characteristics and autonomy.

* Religion according to ideology is Manunggaling subjects Javanist Gusti is united with God's servant. By some Islamic circles of white students, the concept of union of man with God is to lead to God or behavioral dissatisfaction of god called Shirk.

* Perspective teachings tasauf Javanist dimensionless mixing between the Javanese culture, Hinduism, and Buddhism is less appreciated aspects of Shari'a in the sense that relates to essential laws of Islam.

* King is a religious leader. This is apparent from the use or the use of title "Hadrat Panatagama", "Khalifatullah", "religious teachings ageming aji" (jewelry), the king, because it must be adjusted with origin of tradition of Java.

* Book of the Mahabharata and Ramayana is a source of inspiration Javanist courses that contain moral teachings and character behavior, life guidance.

* Review Java review mind more focused on mental and behavioral aspects of the inner senses. Strategy Javanist approach is to find approaches to God even always wanted to merge with God (Manunggaling Gusti subjects) and inner character of his analysis.

Yours respectfully
Slamet Priyadi / Source: Siti Jenar, YB. Prabaswara

Voices....

I heard it since beginning....

The promptings of the inner eye...

It sounds like my chest showered with tears....

If only I could turn time to eliminate that voice....

The voice said it was too late...

He has come and will follow wherever I go....

Until my death out later, this lament would never go...

The voices.....

From the beginning I knew that this road is not enough for scum....

10 Commandments from Men mandated are wasted.....

Mesmerized by the bright glare of sunlight....

And fell in the arms of regret...

It made me understand of the way mankind went blind...

The voices....

I am not trying to destroy you....

You are not limited and has suffered tremendous strength....

Oo let the real truth to guide me forever....

Because the truth is always a blessing....

And the voices imprisons any evil intentions....

They are partly me....

For something that so regrettable, i am sorry.....

 Extreme ways are back again
Extreme places I didn't know
I broke everything new again
Everything that I'd owned
I threw it out the window; came along
Extreme ways I know will part the colors of my sea
perfect colored me

Extreme ways they help me
They help me out late at night
Extreme places I had gone
That never seen any light
Dirty basements, dirty noise
Dirty places coming through
Extreme worlds alone
Did you ever like it planned?

I would stand in line for this
There's always room in life for this

Oh baby, oh baby
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh baby, oh baby
Then it fell apart, it fell apart(x2)

Extreme sounds that told me
They held me down every night
I didn't have much to say
I didn't give about the life
I closed my eyes and closed myself
And closed my world and never opened up to anything
That could get me at all

I had to close down everything
I had to close down my mind
Too many things could cut me
Too much could make me blind
I've seen so much in so many places
So many heartaches, so many faces
So many dirty things
You couldn't even believe

I would stand in line for this
It's always good in life for this

Oh baby, oh baby
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh baby, oh baby
Then it fell apart, it fell apart

Oh Baby, oh baby

Oh baby, oh baby

Then it fell apart, it fell apart Oh baby, oh baby
Then it fell apart, it fell apart Oh baby, oh baby
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh baby, oh baby
Like it always does, always does 

  

I say future is absurd

You say your future is bright

You say your future comes with money

You say your future is full of blitz

You say your future is all about happy family

I say future is absurd                                

If you ask why ?

I say your future is absurd

The future that you think will be better

I say you are subjective

You may happy when others remain sad

You may forget

There is a time that snug what will happen and....

There are Men that will decide what you will be....

Yes, I say future things is absurd

I say future is absurd

At end even I say it is absurd.

For those people who eat shit everyday

Arwah Zaenal kini terdiam. Membeku dingin diiringi nyanyian hujan dan pelangi yang melukis langit di ujung timur sana. Di pemakaman Kematiannya, dia termenung diantara kerumunan orang yang lantas pergi dari situ setelah air tumpah dari langit demham semangat membentuk hujan. Sanak dan famili pun lantas menunda tangisannya untuk mencari tempat teduh. Zaenal hanya bias memandangi mereka.

                Zaenal memandangi kuburannya. Tatapan matanya kosong, bulatan hitam di matanya kini sudah putih dan bekas luka yang seumur hidup menemaninya pun kini telah menghilang. Ia seperti menjadi manusia lain. Seperti bukan Zaenal yang dikenal sebagai pria perkasa di Desa.

                Di sebatang pohon meranti tua yang berdahan dihiasi dengan lebatnya lembar-lembar daun tidak jauh dari makam, Keluarga zaenal sedang berusaha berteduh. Ibunya yang renta menangisi kepergian anaknya itu, dan adiknya, Sita, tampak sedang menghibur sang ibu dengan sentuhan halus dipundak. Layaknya hujan, tangisan ibu Zaenal seperti sungkan untuk berhenti.

                Zaenal termenung melihat pemandangan itu. Namun ia tak mampu bicara dan tersenyum. Emosinya kini telah dicabut oleh Tuhan. Ia memandang dengan dingin peristiwa itu. Tatapannya begitu kosong begitu juga dengan pikirannya yang telah dicabut oleh Tuhan.

                Zaenal yang dikenal sebagai preman pasar itu kini telah tewas mengenaskan. Terjadi setelah sekelompok preman dari desa sebelah sukses membacok puluhan kali ke badan Zaenal. Sebabnya karena pertikaian antara daerah kekuasaan desa yang meliputi pasar, tempat parker hingga kawasan pertokoan kecil yang ada dibeberapa titik desa.

                Di ufuk barat, tempat pelangi muncul, turunlah malaikat dari langit, ia memakai jubah putih bersih mengilat seperti ada aliran listrik disekujur kain yang melilit ditubuhnya. Ia terbang menuruni warna warni pelangi dengan anggun, kontradiktif dengan parasnya yang cenderung kasar.

“ Namaku Annien, malaikat yang akan menyertaimu ke dunia berikutnya, mengirimmu ke kebaikan hakiki, layaknya  dunia tanpa akhir. Dunia mu yang sesungguhnya...”, kenal sang malaikat.

“Aku mengerti...”

“ Kamu tahu di dunia kejahatanmu tak terampuni....”

“Aku mengerti.....”

“Hingga arwah tercabut dari jasmani kamu pun masih tersiksa, Tuhan menyertaimu.”

“Aku mengerti....”

“Sebelum aku mengantarkanmu, akan kukabulkan tiga permintaan dan Tuhan yang memberkati akan mengirimkannya kepadaku untuk kuberikan kepadamu....”

“Terima kasih atas rahmat Tuhan, kumohon kembalikan ingatan dan emosiku untuk beberapa saat”

“...baiklah...”, Annien meniup emosi dan ingatannya yang telah hilang ketubuh arwah Zaenal

“Lalu kabulkanlah permintaan ku ini, aku ingin berbicara dengan ibuku beberapa saat”

“Hm....Maaf namun aku tidak bisa memberikannya kepadamu, hendak kau mengetahui bahwa kau berada di alam yang berbeda kini dan tak mungkin untuk kembali....adakah permintaan yang ketiga?”

“ Baiklah kalau begitu, aku menginginkan ibu dan adikku tahu jika aku memiliki beberapa polis asuransi yang nilainya cukup untuk kehidupan sehari-hari keluargaku. Bank itu ada di Kota utara desa ini....”

“What the fuck do you think i am, don’t you know anything about my holy job, motherfucker!”

Lalu Zaenal pun menangis meratapi nasibnya.

Yang kini dikangkangi malaikat.....

Suara jangkrik pertanda hujan telah usai pun mengiringi kisah pilu setelah mati ini.

Ironic of Kumimawa

“I am not telling anybody that i could kill you now”, Joshikage the young leader of the Ninjas of Kumimawa region seems confidence to beat his opponent.

“May God of Kanon bless what you have said will never happen”, said the Sumamoto the ruler of Kumimawa region, the old man that bring evolution to the world of ninjas after the colony of the shadow black “ Zaekawa”, the legendary of ninja fighters, it have been vanished lately by the young Sumamoto many years ago.

“Be prepare of this!”, screams Joshikage

“Bring it to me....”, he smiles

The Joshikage jump and blowing fires towards his opponent but it seems easy to dodge by the old man and successfully countered him successful with ancient jutsu ‘tendo jigoku’. Joshi got big wound on his leg so he could only stand up by one feet.

“I win.....”, Sumamoto smiles

“Ugh......”

The Genius ninja always have a part B option and that comes into the young Joshikage to cloned his body before the attacks of Sumamoto. Suddenly he is behind his opponent. Sumamoto streaked but will not move after the kunai had been lodged into his stomach. It is bleeding so much and Sumamoto down to kiss the surface of the land of Kumimawa.

“I lost......”

“Yes you are. Now i am the leader of this country!”

“You have to kill me first.......”

“I will!”

“..I.....”

“ What do you want to say  oldman!”

“I am your father.......”

“Impossible shit you try to poke fun at me!, You may try my fires!!”

“It is true boy.......my life will no longer exist here so you may please listen to what i say......”

“For what sake that you want to tell me something else!”

“To say that i am your father, even without killing me, sooner or later, you will became the ruler of Kumimawa.....”

“Don’t say any bulshit again old scumbags!”

“I will expla-....”

The fire burnt the oldman Sumamoto away from the realm world  and ashes were blown to the west through where the wind goes. Joshikage from now on has been the king of Kumimawa regions, and he returned from exile without fail. By the win on his hand.

He returns to the castle of ninjas and admitted to the old judges that he was murder Sumamoto. But the reaction after it are so different by the old judges. They were surprised and raise the eyebrows. One of the judges stood up and screamed about what he was killed was his father. The young Joshi had been truly shocked.

“ All of you are just MORON!!!”, screams Joshikage.

He attacks but he failed right now. The old judges consist of seven expert ninjas that had been trough many years of war. The felt what is hatred disastrously but it has been eaten by the time goes and the seven-of- this-legendary ninjas became wise. The wise comes after they are mastered all aspect to become advance ninja fighter.

The young Joshi lost easily and got heavy attacks by them. Blood spills over his mouth. He is totter and lost his balance. He got the heavier one this time, attacks make the damage worsen and after that he fell onto the floors.

“How dare you try to  beat us the sevent heaven!”

“You may die!”, screams Joshikage.

He stood up and  release one of the strongest ancient jutsu ‘ Tetsugan Jigoku’. This moves were good to kill one of the old judges. But seven lost one means they still have six head of masters. They were fury and releases their own speciality moves. Its the time to say  Joshikage must be die after this.

He takes a deep breath. And a second blood comes out with rush from his body. Joshi is the dead meat now.

Satan's Government

“For this moment i’d rather to say that this country need changes especially to make our citizens more responsible of what they do for the proud of our country”, Mr. Freddy, The president of Republic Solia close his speech among people who witness him this morning. The presses and local citizen seems attractive to watch his leader speaks in their independence day.

Mr. Freddy is a strong man with strong will. He rules Republic Solia for almost thirty years and never defeated by his rivas in every election. He with his colleagues always have the best to win. Their opponents spill saliva and vanquish their face after lost the campaign. They realized something was wrong but could not do anything because it was surpressed by him. The Government under Mr. Freddy are so strong to defeat. He is unbeatable.

Republic Solia is not different with another developing countries that always involved with poor and limitation of crisis. The Crisis have been completely complicated for almost three decades without touched by the blitz cameras of the press. It seems they got surpressed too. It seems the Republic of Solia has turn into the darkest side and absolutely monarchy.

The rich will be richest and the poor will be the poorest. It was like holocaust of Nazi’s with a different method. The do not using guns or bomb, they prefer to using starve people and unemployed people to get easily directed to what government want. Another countries could not doing any help for this regime.

Every man has destiny. Mr. Freddy knows that the day of the fallen will come to him, sooner or later.  He knows who will beat him. He knows that the day of changes will come. The person will come after him today. After Mr. Freddy’s speeches. After he celebrated his victory for over thirty years in front of his palace. Afterwards, he is only sitting down of his office on the luxury sofa alone after he asked  his assistant to leave him alone for hours today. He seems to wait this man to come.

Then this man has appeared. He walks slow through the corridor of the palace to the president room. He wears super white shirt with brown trousers combined with polished black boots. He-this man- looks like an ordinary man. Every man in the Palace do not notice him even a bit. He walks like a ghost when everyone are busy with their own things.

“You come after me, don’t you?”, Mr Freddy asking to this man who suddenly stand  in front of him.

“Yes, I do”

“I know.....”

 “May  i have a seat?”

Then this young man sit next to Mr Freddy. Without doubt, he put the gun on the table and start asking the 

president.

                “We have a deal, don’t we, Mr. Freddy?”

                “As always.....”

                “Are you happy with our agreement?”

“As always happy....”

“Are you ready when i take your soul ?”

“Never.....but... i’d knew that you will come after me”

“Gun won’t kill you. But i shall steal your live, your suffer that you pretend that you have all of these”, the young man pointed the window.

“Please kill me....”

                The young man are laughing when he answered his last sentence. Without doubt he take the gun and pull the trigger and at the same time the the president could not resist when the bullet come deep to his head. He died instantly.

                “Introduce myself. I am Sam....”, After introducing he stood up but he is not walk  but floating.

                “I am Sam, the person who made deal when you are weak. I was going to help you and now i got help from you. Now this country has the freedom, after thirt...ummm...yes thirty years, a very long time for human”.

Then the wings appeared from his back and he flown through wall after wall and disappeared.

Thirty years ago, Fred the young man came to the palace and killed the former president. Then the devil beside him smiled witnessed this murder then was rewarding the young fred with president chair for thirty years. But he must sacrifice his own citizens as a slave of Satan.

Sam smiled twice now.