Saturday, February 05, 2011

Hujan (Dosa)




Langit-langit menghitam
Terpejal cahaya samar
Mencederai setiap umat
Mengkukuhi setiap kepala
Teresap dan tercumbu

Ketika
Langit-langit menghitam
Gemuruh perih yang terdalam
Menjatuhkan air-air kesedihan
Menghujani setiap tubuh sang pendosa

Ketika
Nikmat menjadi tak terbendung
Meredakan setiap butir-butir
Kesenyapan
Kepenatan
Dengan gelora yang menggelegar

Ketika
Kita semua terbangun
Akan rintik-rintik dosa
Percikan air mata
Akan terhenti ketika,
Kita semua
Mati

Lima Belas Jari, wahai sang pencuri


Tertumpuk maksiat, percikan darah
Gelap dan dingin
Menggerogoti sukma sang pemilik

Lima belas jari
Citra debu matahari yang fana
Terlihat menyinari, dalam perjalanan kematian
Bintang-bintang bersaksi dan kemudian mati

Lima belas jari
Semesta mengingkari
Relung sukma menghakimi
Api terpecik dan menyulut
Para-para jiwa sakit oleh kebekuan

Lima belas jari
Jantung tertembus oleh kehadiranmu
Insan hanya menghirup dan menghembuskan
Hingga mati dalam noda
Yang jadi terbersih olehmu

Lima belas jari
Cukup sudah
Aku olehmu
Ku bukan boneka
Ku muncul saat purnama
Untuk memanggilmu kembali, ke pelukan
Ajal

SANG ORATOR


Mulut manusia begitu indah
Berupa-rupa dan berwarna-warni
Dicintai sejuta manusia
Menembak dengan tegas
Meracuni tak mematikan
Meratapi ketukan jiwa
Melindungi martabat manusia

Sang Orator,
Membius
Mencederai
Menyembuhkan
Menyadarkan

Sang Orator,
Sang pengatur alam
Sang pengejar jiwa
Tanpa terbebani
Ia menggetarkan seisi bumi
Suara nyanyian merdu
Yang menggandung peluh
Kelelahan yang amat sangat
Akan kerinduan terdalam yang berat,
Memanusiakan manusia
Dari kegilaan nurani
Tanpa henti
Hitam

HINA



Pasir-pasir putih berbuih
Disusupi oleh air-air keringat
Merindu, dan tersedu
Teringat oleh kaum-kaum yang terhina
Terlelap akan gelapnya dunia

Pasir-pasir putih berbuih
Disisipi air laut
Tanpa akhir dan terus berputar
Menerima tanpa menghakimi
Terlena akan ironi para surgawi

Pasir-pasir putih berbuih
Seperti menghakimi
Namun tak kunjung jua bersinar
Perlahan menggerogoti tulang
Para insan dunia
Tanpa batas dan cinta

Pasir-pasir putih berbuih
Hinakah aku?
Hinakah mereka?
Rapuhkah kami para manusia
Yang terseret ombak tanpa henti
Dan menghilang tak berbekas
Mendamba kehinaan

Monday, December 06, 2010

one of the best song for junkies :)


Sunday, July 18, 2010

Unholy Confession



Lorong waktu ini, akan segera berakhir, ketika mataku tertutup dan cahaya itu melesat jauh pergi meninggalkan segala kenangan indah dan pahit. Seperti labirin.

Ketika hari ini berakhir, dan nafas ini usai aku akan tertunduk lesu dengan hati membiru, teringat akan dosa-dosaku. Yang tak pernah kusesali. Hanya karena prinsip.

Dalam hitungan tahun, semua akan terjawab, ketika Ia memanggilku, dengan kasar, lugas dan tanpa pamrih. Terbayang perkataanya akan sedemikian keras, namun aku terima. Itulah namanya pil pahit.

Jujur kuakui, terkadang aku seperti melihat dimensi lain, dimensi yang tak bisa orang lain rasa. Dimensi keegoisan diri. Egosentrisme merasuk ke hatiku.

Ayah ku sedemikian keras, namun dalam hatinya, yang masih mampu kubaca, sangat menyayangiku. Cahaya matanya membuatku gelisah hingga detik ini, ketika aku membentak balik kepadanya. Aku akan menyesal nantinya, itu pasti.

Ibuku, selalu diam. Tak pernah marah tak pernah mengeluarkan rasa emosinya setitikpun terhadapku. Hanya ia, hatinya yang tak bisa kubaca. Aku kalah Ibu.

Adikkku yang begitu lucu, terkadang aku sedih kenapa dia ada ketika aku hancur lebur. Terkadang ia manusia yang paling mengerti akan diriku. Sesuatu terjadi padanya. Maka aku akan hilang, tersedot deras ke lubang hitam.

Leluhurku, siapa dia aku tidak tahu, tak ada seorang pun yang memberitahu. Aku penasaran, aku bimbang dan tanpa arah. Hingga aku mencoba sesuatu yang mungkin mereka tidak suka. Dan mulai mengutukiku. Maafkan aku.

Sahabat-sahabatku, namamu terhias di kulitku, kukenang dirimu dan kuberkati kalian agar kalian bahagia sampai akhir hayat, walau aku tak mampu membendung siksaan hidup yang mulai menjerat hati. Nafasku mulai pendek, kuakui hidup ini tak lama lagi.

Wanita yang pernah kusayangi dalam hidupku, im sorry.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

invective freedom







god says live just a while
so i go live waiting death with breathe
no one care and no one dare 
so i stand up and do what i care


You smile like a king 
but no ever king lives like lion king
he fears of death and still getting beaten
with me and sorrow


you know what is life means
making coffee and lit some joints
feel peace and hatred at a times
but you still dont know my suffering


god says live just a while 
so i go live waiting death with breathe
no one care and no one dare
so i stand up and do what i care


if you die today
i wont smile i wont cry
i just promise you to take the rest
vanished the pain and get all the freedom


mama told i have something 
a bit different but would not getting big
because i choose a different way
like frank sinatra sing about his way






hey you there grow up man
dont underestimate people like me
you know i can kill you whenever i want
i'll be your nightmare if you dare to beg

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Sjahrir And Socialism




Dated March 5, 2009 an even 100 years Sutan Sjahrir. "Little Man", so nicknamed Sjahrir, listed as a central figure in Indonesia's struggle for independence, especially in politics and diplomacy.

 
Known intelligent, Sjahrir at age 19 years took part in the Youth Oath October 28, 1928. At the age of 36 years Sjahrir elected Prime Minister I RI.

 
Skilled at the negotiation table, Sjahrir founded the Socialist People's Party, and renamed the Indonesian Socialist Party (PSI). In the 1955 elections, the PSI failed to reap significant votes. PSI was dissolved five years later President Sukarno.

 
In 1963, the Sutan Sjahrir gazetted as a political prisoner to death in Switzerland in the treatment period. Dissolution of the PSI and the validity period of authoritarian Masyumi mark. Until the end of the New Order regime, the discourse of ideology associated with a nation that manifested in the structure of political economy, cultural systems, and values should ideally practical standstill. 




Indonesian Socialism 


 
 
In discussing the ideal social and political orders, often comes the desire to find a middle way between capitalism and socialism. Sjahrir is one of the pioneering search for that road, as stated in the concept of Indonesian Socialism. The question is, is it possible there was a "middle way Indonesian version"? Is it possible to unite the two isms are like oil and water?

 
More concrete question is, Should Indonesian Socialism? Necessary. The reason, so that the positive aspects of socialism as a set of sharp social analysis in describing the order of justice can be combined with a democratic political order which became the requirements of the functioning of a market economy in the context of Indonesia.

 
In modern capitalist countries which apply advanced political democracy. However, is not the case with economic democracy. The achievement of political democracy has historically been very important, but it is less complete. He is merely a passive representative democracy, in which most people choose another person to act for them. Also remain concentrated economic power and economic democracy are still waiting for a better future.

 
Meanwhile, the experiment of socialism (communism exact), East Block has failed. The absence of political democracy resulted in a political crisis led to the collapse of the Soviet Union and Eastern Bloc. Absence of political democracy to economic communist countries at that time, packaged in the context of full employment and imposed centralized planning, resulting in stagnation and economic inefficiency and a lack of work discipline.

 
Dissatisfaction with the two isms that trigger an alternative search. In theory, allowing a variety of flow of socialism. -Democratic socialism is a form of socialism is to find land developed in some industrial countries like Germany and Sweden. In addition, we have heard various genres of socialism, as a non-Marxist socialism, socialism-movement-science, and socialism-utopian. 

 

Socialism Sjahrir



 
In the annals of Indonesia, there are four political parties that never bears the name "socialist" as the name and official ideology of the party, namely the Socialist Party headed by Amir Syarifuddin, Socialist People's Party (Paras) who founded and chaired Sutan Sjahrir. Then there was the Socialist Party which represents the fusion of the two parties. This is the party that controlled the Cabinet since November 1945 until mid-1947 RI, when a rift occurred between the group and Amir Sjarifuddin Sjahrir. Sjahrir then form a new party, the Indonesian Socialist Party (PSI), in early 1948, lasted until 1960, when Sukarno dissolved.

 
In the history of the independence movement, we know the leaders, including Sukarno and Hatta, who believes building a community and this country on socialist principles. However, among the characters, perhaps only the most assertive and Sjahrir real in faith and struggle. He not only founded a political party (PSI) to create belief, but previously have considered in depth understanding of what socialism is best suited for Indonesia.

 
Sjahrir firmly distinguish who want to understand socialism in Indonesia fought for socialism in the West European communism and socialism offered. Struggle over ideas of socialism in Western Europe and concern about totalitarian communism led to his thoughts on socialism are appropriate for Indonesia, namely-populist socialism.

 
For Sjahrir, word populist was an appreciation and affirmation that socialism as he understood forever uphold basic human equality.

 
The historical record is known, the ideals of democratic socialism-Sjahrir did not successfully realized. However, this failure may not be solely because Sjahrir shifted from politics or because the PSI was dissolved. Socialism, whatever it is, just understand, an ideal that is still in the conception rate. To realize these ideals, he must be made operational and must be supported by a set of institutions and specific mechanisms. It was not easy. Without it, she will stop at the moral or ethical appeal, but did not bring change anything.




Adopted from Ivan Hadar, Deputy Chief Editor of Journal Social Democratic
Source: www.kompas.com 

Info & Understanding Javanist Original Java (Syncretism Religion & Spirituality Combination)




Javanist is native Javanese culture is the syncretism of ancient beliefs with religious teachings that came later, such as Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam, and Christianity.Among the mixture of the most dominant is the teachings of Islam.
Discussing the problem is indeed the result Javanist terms Manunggaling Kawulo Gusti, Sedulur to four Five pancer Sangkan Paraning Dumadi, ngeruwat, initiation, and others.
Drs Susilo conclude about Javanist are as follows:
* Javanist is the mixing of religious syncretism of Hindu-Buddhist-Islamic. Nevertheless Javanist teachings still relate and sticking to the original teachings of Javanese tradition that still seems peculiar characteristics and autonomy.
* Religion according to ideology is Manunggaling subjects Javanist Gusti is united with God's servant. By some Islamic circles of white students, the concept of union of man with God is to lead to God or behavioral dissatisfaction of god called Shirk.
* Perspective teachings tasauf Javanist dimensionless mixing between the Javanese culture, Hinduism, and Buddhism is less appreciated aspects of Shari'a in the sense that relates to essential laws of Islam.
* King is a religious leader. This is apparent from the use or the use of title "Hadrat Panatagama", "Khalifatullah", "religious teachings ageming aji" (jewelry), the king, because it must be adjusted with origin of tradition of Java.
* Book of the Mahabharata and Ramayana is a source of inspiration Javanist courses that contain moral teachings and character behavior, life guidance.
* Review Java review mind more focused on mental and behavioral aspects of the inner senses. Strategy Javanist approach is to find approaches to God even always wanted to merge with God (Manunggaling Gusti subjects) and inner character of his analysis.

Yours respectfully
Slamet Priyadi / Source: Siti Jenar, YB. Prabaswara


Friday, March 26, 2010





Voices....

I heard it since beginning....
The promptings of the inner eye...
It sounds like my chest showered with tears....
If only I could turn time to eliminate that voice....
The voice said it was too late...
He has come and will follow wherever I go....
Until my death out later, this lament would never go...

The voices.....

From the beginning I knew that this road is not enough for scum....
10 Commandments from Men mandated are wasted.....
Mesmerized by the bright glare of sunlight....
And fell in the arms of regret...
It made me understand of the way mankind went blind...

The voices....

I am not trying to destroy you....
You are not limited and has suffered tremendous strength....
Oo let the real truth to guide me forever....
Because the truth is always a blessing....
And the voices imprisons any evil intentions....
They are partly me....


For something that so regrettable, i am sorry.....





Thursday, March 18, 2010

 
Extreme ways are back again
Extreme places I didn't know
I broke everything new again
Everything that I'd owned
I threw it out the window; came along
Extreme ways I know will part the colors of my sea
perfect colored me

Extreme ways they help me
They help me out late at night
Extreme places I had gone
That never seen any light
Dirty basements, dirty noise
Dirty places coming through
Extreme worlds alone
Did you ever like it planned?

I would stand in line for this
There's always room in life for this

Oh baby, oh baby
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh baby, oh baby
Then it fell apart, it fell apart(x2)

Extreme sounds that told me
They held me down every night
I didn't have much to say
I didn't give about the life
I closed my eyes and closed myself
And closed my world and never opened up to anything
That could get me at all

I had to close down everything
I had to close down my mind
Too many things could cut me
Too much could make me blind
I've seen so much in so many places
So many heartaches, so many faces
So many dirty things
You couldn't even believe

I would stand in line for this
It's always good in life for this

Oh baby, oh baby
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh baby, oh baby
Then it fell apart, it fell apart

Oh Baby, oh baby

Oh baby, oh baby


Then it fell apart, it fell apart Oh baby, oh baby
Then it fell apart, it fell apart Oh baby, oh baby
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh baby, oh baby
Like it always does, always does
 
 
 

Monday, March 15, 2010




I say future is absurd
You say your future is bright
You say your future comes with money
You say your future is full of blitz
You say your future is all about happy family
I say future is absurd                                
If you ask why ?
I say your future is absurd
The future that you think will be better
I say you are subjective
You may happy when others remain sad
You may forget
There is a time that snug what will happen and....
There are Men that will decide what you will be....
Yes, I say future things is absurd
I say future is absurd
At end even I say it is absurd.

For those people who eat shit everyday

Thursday, March 11, 2010



Arwah Zaenal kini terdiam. Membeku dingin diiringi nyanyian hujan dan pelangi yang melukis langit di ujung timur sana. Di pemakaman Kematiannya, dia termenung diantara kerumunan orang yang lantas pergi dari situ setelah air tumpah dari langit demham semangat membentuk hujan. Sanak dan famili pun lantas menunda tangisannya untuk mencari tempat teduh. Zaenal hanya bias memandangi mereka.

                Zaenal memandangi kuburannya. Tatapan matanya kosong, bulatan hitam di matanya kini sudah putih dan bekas luka yang seumur hidup menemaninya pun kini telah menghilang. Ia seperti menjadi manusia lain. Seperti bukan Zaenal yang dikenal sebagai pria perkasa di Desa.

                Di sebatang pohon meranti tua yang berdahan dihiasi dengan lebatnya lembar-lembar daun tidak jauh dari makam, Keluarga zaenal sedang berusaha berteduh. Ibunya yang renta menangisi kepergian anaknya itu, dan adiknya, Sita, tampak sedang menghibur sang ibu dengan sentuhan halus dipundak. Layaknya hujan, tangisan ibu Zaenal seperti sungkan untuk berhenti.

                Zaenal termenung melihat pemandangan itu. Namun ia tak mampu bicara dan tersenyum. Emosinya kini telah dicabut oleh Tuhan. Ia memandang dengan dingin peristiwa itu. Tatapannya begitu kosong begitu juga dengan pikirannya yang telah dicabut oleh Tuhan.

                Zaenal yang dikenal sebagai preman pasar itu kini telah tewas mengenaskan. Terjadi setelah sekelompok preman dari desa sebelah sukses membacok puluhan kali ke badan Zaenal. Sebabnya karena pertikaian antara daerah kekuasaan desa yang meliputi pasar, tempat parker hingga kawasan pertokoan kecil yang ada dibeberapa titik desa.

                Di ufuk barat, tempat pelangi muncul, turunlah malaikat dari langit, ia memakai jubah putih bersih mengilat seperti ada aliran listrik disekujur kain yang melilit ditubuhnya. Ia terbang menuruni warna warni pelangi dengan anggun, kontradiktif dengan parasnya yang cenderung kasar.

“ Namaku Annien, malaikat yang akan menyertaimu ke dunia berikutnya, mengirimmu ke kebaikan hakiki, layaknya  dunia tanpa akhir. Dunia mu yang sesungguhnya...”, kenal sang malaikat.

“Aku mengerti...”

“ Kamu tahu di dunia kejahatanmu tak terampuni....”

“Aku mengerti.....”

“Hingga arwah tercabut dari jasmani kamu pun masih tersiksa, Tuhan menyertaimu.”

“Aku mengerti....”

“Sebelum aku mengantarkanmu, akan kukabulkan tiga permintaan dan Tuhan yang memberkati akan mengirimkannya kepadaku untuk kuberikan kepadamu....”

“Terima kasih atas rahmat Tuhan, kumohon kembalikan ingatan dan emosiku untuk beberapa saat”

“...baiklah...”, Annien meniup emosi dan ingatannya yang telah hilang ketubuh arwah Zaenal

“Lalu kabulkanlah permintaan ku ini, aku ingin berbicara dengan ibuku beberapa saat”

“Hm....Maaf namun aku tidak bisa memberikannya kepadamu, hendak kau mengetahui bahwa kau berada di alam yang berbeda kini dan tak mungkin untuk kembali....adakah permintaan yang ketiga?”

“ Baiklah kalau begitu, aku menginginkan ibu dan adikku tahu jika aku memiliki beberapa polis asuransi yang nilainya cukup untuk kehidupan sehari-hari keluargaku. Bank itu ada di Kota utara desa ini....”

“What the fuck do you think i am, don’t you know anything about my holy job, motherfucker!”

Lalu Zaenal pun menangis meratapi nasibnya.

Yang kini dikangkangi malaikat.....

Suara jangkrik pertanda hujan telah usai pun mengiringi kisah pilu setelah mati ini.